Well there are good days and bad days the same as the weather, but today started out rough. i tried to comfort myself that it was another morning I had now gotten one day closer to seeing josh, but i wasn't convincing myself very well lol. after not hearing from him for almost a week i was starting to just feel miserable i won't lie. I have thankfully gotten quit the support system thanks to a wonderful thing we call facebook. there are about 70 people that have joined in a group to support each other through this for our soldiers in training or SIT's. I know what some of you are already thinking....my goodness if this is so bad for her now she's never going to make it...well guess what, the first time is always the hardest...not to mention i have a few other things like going on such as trying to sell a house, 2 young kids AND adjusting to be a stay at home mom. now granted these are all things I wanted and desired and prayed for months/years for however that in no means makes it easy to adjust to ESPECIALLY when trying to do all of this...alone....and yes...i did know what i was getting myself into, NO i do not regret any of this nor am i angry at josh in ANY way. I am so extremely proud of him its rediculous. this A has been a life long dream of his, B he worked his butt off (literally....ok i lied he never had a butt to work off...so he worked his stomach off instead) to join the army to meet requirments and has never been this size in his adult life...BY A LONG SHOT, and is doing something so extreme that he is finally once again happy with himself. some of you do, some of you don't know the events of the past 3 years of our lives and to those who do...well this should be making sense now...to those that don't, well hit me up later for that story...its simply too long to post. Needless to say, this is God's proof of leading you where he wants you to go and his faithfulness. My husband hasn't had this kind of pride in himself or the things he is already learning...well, maybe since i have met him almost 10 years ago. This brings up my next point about why this is harder to get used to...josh and I have practicaly grown up together...we met my freshman year...josh's 4th freshman year :0) and many of you have also watched up throughout this whole thing too. its one thing to start dating a military man, marry a military man and be in the military...you knew it from the beginning...you started that way...its another thing to have a life, grow into it....grow together and form your life together...then one day...OH WAIT you are gonna get a 100 new life...minus your kids...they stay the same :0). So this has been a bit more dramatic than some...but its ok...apparently i NEVER choose the easy way to get where i am supposed to go....Which is why i am praying so hard about htis house....if there is one thing i don't want to do is have it the hard way...this house was my dream, its my creation, and its my house...it was my home, until I realized what a home was...and its not these walls. though i love my home...josh, noah, christian...the 4 of us together is my home. that is what is important. so needless to say my current daily prayer other than that for josh to stay strong and hear my prayers and remember the strength God gives him is to sell this house! i am stuck here until it sells and as much as i love my families here i need my husband more. plus its not like i can just pop over and visit california....not to mention all the adventures i want to have out there and we only have 1 year out there to do so!!!
So my day started rough lol..then I got a letter from josh...AMAZING. he sounds good. tired but not to bad...having far too much fun playing with heavy artillary lol...they will push them to extremes i know they will have many days they feel they can not succeed and they will have many days they do. i send him constant encouragement to remember that failing is ok as long as you try harder and keep going. I know he also feels helpless with all this stuff going on here but i don't want him stressing over it...its time for me to be "army strong" and do it for him. well...i could write for days but I fear it won't make sense to anyone but me soon so I will sign off for now :0)
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