Somewhere over the Rainbow

Well there are good days and bad days the same as the weather, but today started out rough. i  tried to comfort myself that it was another morning I had now gotten one day closer to seeing josh, but i wasn't convincing myself very well lol.  after not hearing from him for almost a week i was starting to just feel miserable i won't lie.  I have thankfully gotten quit the support system thanks to a wonderful thing we call facebook.  there are about 70 people that have joined in a group to support each other through this for our soldiers in training or SIT's.  I know what some of you are already thinking....my goodness if this is so bad for her now she's never going to make it...well guess what, the first time is always the hardest...not to mention i have a few other things like going on such as trying to sell a house, 2 young kids AND adjusting to be a stay at home mom.  now granted these are all things I wanted and desired and prayed for months/years for however that in no means makes it easy to adjust to ESPECIALLY when trying to do all of this...alone....and yes...i did know what i was getting myself into, NO i do not regret any of this nor am i angry at josh in ANY way.  I am so extremely proud of him its rediculous.  this A has been a life long dream of his, B he worked his butt off (literally....ok i lied he never had a butt to work off...so he worked his stomach off instead) to join the army to meet requirments and has never been this size in his adult life...BY A LONG SHOT, and is doing something so extreme that he is finally once again happy with himself.  some of you do, some of you don't know the events of the past 3 years of our lives and to those who do...well this should be making sense now...to those that don't, well hit me up later for that story...its simply too long to post.  Needless to say, this is God's proof of leading you where he wants you to go and his faithfulness.  My husband hasn't had this kind of pride in himself or the things he is already learning...well, maybe since i have met him almost 10 years ago.  This brings up my next point about why this is harder to get used to...josh and I have practicaly grown up together...we met my freshman year...josh's 4th freshman year :0)  and many of you have also watched up throughout this whole thing too.  its one thing to start dating a military man, marry a military man and be in the military...you knew it from the beginning...you started that way...its another thing to have a life, grow into it....grow together and form your life together...then one day...OH WAIT you are gonna get a 100 new life...minus your kids...they stay the same :0).    So this has been a bit more dramatic than some...but its ok...apparently i NEVER choose the easy way to get where i am supposed to go....Which is why i am praying so hard about htis house....if there is one thing i don't want to do is have it the hard way...this house was my dream, its my creation, and its my house...it was my home, until I realized what a home was...and its not these walls.  though i love my home...josh, noah, christian...the 4 of us together is my home.  that is what is important.  so needless to say my current daily prayer other than that for josh to stay strong and hear my prayers and remember the strength God gives him is to sell this house!  i am stuck here until it sells and as much as i love my families here i need my husband more. plus its not like i can just pop over and visit california....not to mention all the adventures i want to have out there and we only have 1 year out there to do so!!! 

So my day started rough lol..then I got a letter from josh...AMAZING.  he sounds good.  tired but not to bad...having far too much fun playing with heavy artillary lol...they will push them to extremes i know they will have many days they feel they can not succeed and they will have many days they do.  i send him constant encouragement to remember that failing is ok as long as you try harder and keep going.  I know he also feels helpless with all this stuff going on here but i don't want him stressing over it...its time for me to be "army strong" and do it for him.  well...i could write for days but I fear it won't make sense to anyone but me soon so I will sign off for now :0)

Lions and Tigers and Bears OH MY...well maybe not...

SO today we went to Charlestowne landing.  By we I mean my "sister" and her kids...technically Its my acutual sister-in-law...well its her brother and his wife and kids...but for the sake of NOT making EVERYONE"s head spin...lets just say we call each other family and love to do so! ANYways, she has 3 boys Jackson (5 going on 25 :0) love him) Luke (4) and Levi who is 3 weeks younger than Christian!  Noah who is the gargantuan sized 2 year old LOVEs them and the lils just hang together!!!  So we thought we would head to the "Animals" as the boys loved to see so much and see what we could get into!  boy did they have fun! and she got some precious pictures! 


SO now for a few ramblings of things i have learned...

I hate night time alone, its too quiet.  yeah during the day if I can get the kids to nap at the same time...which i usually am Not successful at...i enjoy maybe an hour of quietness but i don't like sleeping alone in the dark...i didn't mind it so much when i worked day shift because well..its just different...but hey, its alright.  i know it will get easier...9 more weeks isn't a life time...i know people leave for much longer and iknow he is leaving again probably but you know what...i don't ever have to like it...am I proud of him...OF COURSE....do i regret any of his decisions...NEVER....but i just don't have to like it...who says i have to be ok with it.

I honestly feel bad for and pity our society.  We have forgotten how to communicate.  i mean REALLY communicate...we have cell phone, texting, facebook, BLOGGING, skype lol, and everything at our fingertips...we have instant and full on commuication to anyone, anywhere,  any time we want it...and we STINK at using it!  we talk all day long...we use USELESS words to babble on about peoples days and stupid things and even the simplest I LOVE YOU isn't heard or even MENT anymore...I bet that its a HUGE reason why marriages fail....the reason why people from 50 years ago stayed married for EVER is because they courted each other and wrote love letters.  I have realized how intimate love letters can be....no i am not talking scandleousness here...but really expressing things.   someone personally i can hear someone say i love you a thousand times, i can read a text message, but if i see it on a letter, written down with ink and a pen it has the power of a thousand horses.  call me crazy but I made myself a promise that at the end of this 10 weeks (9 now) even when josh and I are together I will not stop writing him letters.  the art of pursuit is one that should never die...especially when married...maybe we would have a chance at long marriages again if other people caught on to this....just a thought.....but remember....

pull the pin and throw the grenade :0)

Drop the Pin, Throw the grenade

Well as you all know, we have had a lot of changes in our family lately, well lets face it that's kinda the story of everyone's life right now.  At the Advice and well, sort of request of a dear friend of mine,  It was suggested to me to start a blog to chronicle my new adventures, talk, and well ramble if need be.  Apparently I took it to heart as HERE I AM!  to all who know me (as i am sure everyone who reads this does...if not..well...what did you get yourself into?!)  Talking is definitely a strong attribute of mine...if you will...lol.  Now more than ever, i could use a few outlets seeing as how MOST of the talking i am doing consists of EXTREME repetition to a 2.5 year old little boy...and to that of a 7.5 month old as well :0).  

So, this shall be my beginning.  If I can not talk I shall write...either way it gets my feelings out there and we all feel a bit better...right?!  well at least i think so...and EVEN if no one ever reads this...well it helps me...I can also use the excuse that in 9 weeks josh can look back at this and see what has happened...though i write to him every day, i can't show him everything, so maybe this will help him later....either way....at the end of the day its all that matters.  

I guess I should explain my title, well, one fun thing about me and my husband is our love for absolutle rediculously over the top STOOOOOOPid movies.  and of course when all of this army stuff REALLY got into high gear close to a year ago, the first thing we BOTH thought was was a movie called In the Army now with Pauly Shore...here is a clip to show you (i hope)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIdOZsEubYc

and this scene with the grenade launchers and the grenade and everything else became our favorite saying to each other...for just about EVERYthing since last summer...so its only fitting to begin this way.

I have many thoughts about the last week and half of my life to which I will slowly delve out to those who choose to read, or not...maybe it is all for myself and that's ok....i never thought I would succumb to this new fad of "blogging" but hey, i guess its not much different than journaling now is it....just lets me share with other people whats going on.  I will say, i do not care if anyone wants to read this but know that these are mostly my opinions and feelings, if you have negative things to say...well do as your momma should have taught you (don't know if she did or didn't) and dont say anything at all :0) if you say nasty things...i will do as MY momma taught me...and CUT THE CHORD! :0) no offense, nothing personal...well i lie...it would be personal if I blocked you...so just don't go there!  I believe EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion and yes I agree that I WON"T agree with everyone an that doesn't mean that I won't think your feelings are a bit extreme at times too but hey, i am also not walking in your shoes nor you in mine so lets just all love and laugh and live together....

SO without further ado, here is my new thing....its free and fun...and we shall see what happens from here!