Falling down the rabbit hole

ok so i know its been like 5/6 months since i wrote on here....but this is gonna blow some of you away.  well as many of you know i have decided biological children were not worth risking being pregnant again, due to several complications and issues i had during both pregnancies tho not really aired or voiced at the time due to personal reasons, i felt it wasn't a good idea to risk having more kids and wasnt fair to the two wonderful boys i have now.  if something happend to me due to my selfish reasons i would never forgive myself!  however it was up in the air if we wanted more kids at all or 2 was plenty to keep me busy lol.  well with all this stuff with josh and our new lives we realized we weren't finished.  adoption has always been a HEAVY burden on my heart since i was a little girl, i meet a girl in elementary school who once told me no one liked her because she wasn't normal she was adopted, i remember from a young age how sad i felt about that and that I thought she was quite possibly the coolest kid in the world because her parents picked her out.  her parents got to CHOOSE their child!  her parents were given this child! it in my heart isn't much different than the two children chosen for me and my family.  We also know that we want to adopt a little girl.  i wont lie i love my boys so much and i love the dirt and grim and goofy nasty roughhousing of them, but i love princesses and bows and big flowers and pretty dresses too!  (however most wouldn't understand that as I hardly wear dresses myself!)  But the time has come the answer is clear we are now pursuing the adoption trail.  i know it can be long and its not easy or cheap and i also know we will be asking a lot of prayers and support from some of you or all of you, but this is the path God has set us on and we know he will provide and care for us and help us on this new journey we are so excited to join in on and have you all with us.  i know there is a child waiting for me out there waiting for a family to love her er and brothers to protect her and parents to kiss her and tell her how loved and beautiful she is.  some will think we are crazy, others will think its great.  trust me i know its a lot to think of and a lot to take on but i know its what i am to do and will let nothing stop me! 2013 is going to be a big year....i just know it....so wish us luck and lots of prayers and know you will be hearing from us!